Was I a Bridezilla? N....o?

Like I have mentioned in my little ol' blogger profile, I am a newlywed. I spent the majority of 2012 and just about half of 2013, planning our [my?] dream wedding.

It was tiring to plan and expensive to pay for, but ultimately, we had the exact wedding that was both me and [little bit] Robocop. It was a huge party and we were surrounded by all of our favorite people celebrating us starting our new life together. What more could a girl ask for?

Now, prior to getting engaged, I had watched a lot of "wedding-centric" TV. You have "Say Yes to The Dress", "Four Weddings", "My Fair Wedding with Dave Tutera", and then of course...the one we love to hate, "Bridezillas". I'd gotten a good dose of what different kinds of brides one could wind up being.

I was completely surprised when Robocop proposed. I mean, we'd obviously talked about it, but never a "it's going to happen at or around this time", so when it actually happened, I was over the moon about it and super surprised! Right then and there, I vowed not to be one of those insane brides. The ones that yell and kick and scream? Those brides.

Overall, I think I did a good job. You'll have to ask my loved ones if you'd like to fact check me, though, I suppose. I think I'm very cool, so maybe my opinion is a little biased

Last week, BuzzFeed put out a list of the 39 Stages of Being a Bride which I found to be...creepily accurate.

Now...I will be the first to say...I went through..a LOT of these stages. Mainly due to the fact, and I'll just go ahead and be blunt with you, I'm a crybaby. So every so often...I couldn't help but shed a tear....or a gallon of them. But I think I made it through the wedding planning process...fairly unscathed.

And I think Robocop made it out intact and happy to marry me! Again..you'd really have to check with him on that.

I was a nice fiancee.

Dare you to fact check me.

Until next time!

I can't stop. I won't stop.

So I'd like to say I'm done talking about Miley Cyrus, but I'm not. Not at all.

Maybe I have an obsessive personality. Maybe I am too firm in how I believe people in the public eye should act. Maybe I don't have enough going on in my life to distract me from this BS.

Regardless of the reason, I just can't stop talking about Miley Cyrus. Namely what a clown I think she is. A real foolio johnson!

A couple days ago, I was watching the 9 o'clock hour of the Today Show (which I'm obsessed with, ask anyone, there's just a certain crush factor to Willie Geist *swoon*) and they mentioned that Sinead O'Connor wrote an open letter to Miley Cyrus after hearing that Miley compared her nudey "Wrecking Ball" video to O'Connors "Nothing Compares" video.

You tell me:

So anyhows. Sinead hears this. Writes Miley an open letter saying [basically] "Don't let the music industry pimp you out. You're way too talented for that."

Mily Cyrus, in all her typical classy glory, replies with the following:
http://www.hot995.com/articles/music-news-477339/sinead-oconnor-and-miley-cyrus-trade-11710540/

Oh good. Mocking someone's mental illness, that'll prove to everyone that you're no Hannah Montana! Someone, nonetheless, who commended your talent and basically recommended you not sell yourself [or your body] short!

This is why I have become obsessed with this monster. I don't wanna be! I want to be done talking about her! I want to not want to have to write this post! I want that sentence just now to make sense!

I hate to admit it, but I am someone who get really involved in celebrity scandals/drama/relationships. I invest my time and energy and emotions, just the way I know they would in me if they only took the time out to get to know me.

Miley Cyrus is proud of her behavior. Confusing flaunting your body in gross nude colored latex shorts with being sexy. Saying "This is just me, people!". How unfortunate. I hate sound like a broken record, and I could rant about this for DAYS, but good golly, get your act together, girrrrrrl!

Leave some thoughtful suggestions for Miley. Or write an open letter to anything that you feel needs addressing.

If I wasn't such a slacker, I'd write an open letter to the following things: Expensive hair products, people who don't park in designated parking spots, bossy people, and the poorly filtered air in my office building.

Until next time! I will try not to let so much time go by. Robocop is going on a fishing trip this weekend, so maybe I'll have extra time to write here.

It's very time consuming to listen to him yell obscenities while playing GTA V.

We ain't goin nowhere.

Cuz we baaaad boy for life.

I haven't posted in awhile but that's because I've been unexpectedly busy at work. But not so busy I haven't surfed the web at least a teensy bit!

I have a few ideas lined up for some posts, so just remain patient and keep your faith and trust invested in a girl you may not know.

Don't act like it'd be the first time. I see right through you.

DO NOT! I CAN'T!

Every so often...I hate the internet.

Yup. I hate it.

Don't get me wrong! About...97% of the time, I love it so much it makes my heart swell up until I feel like it's going to burst into a million glitters.

Then every so often, the internet comes up with a crazy idea to present something that PC won't like! WHY, INTERWEBS? 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/12-absolutely-terrifying-two-sentence-horror-stories

If you know me or anything about me...or anything about my dad, you'd know very well that I am so scared of everything. Growing up, I used to watch the news a lot and alien shows with my dad (Unsolved Mysteries, anyone?) and it just truly made me think that everyone ever was terrifying and bad and murdery.

I can't watch scary movies because I go through a string of emotions as follows: stress, because I'm so anxious and worried about becoming really scared; fear, because eventually I do get genuinely scared; anger, that I let myself get so scared and thought of something stupid like watching a scary movie. Rinse and repeat and that's my scary movie-going experience. Sometimes I'm curious  about scary movies and wish I could know what happens, so what do I do? I do what anyone who's too scared but also Internet savvy would do! I Wiki those bias. Yep. I read the entire plot synopsis and call it a day. Somehow it loses all the scary!

So I thought these two liners would be fine. BUT THEY WERE NOT FINE! I got genuinely scared! 

I'm a wuss. Or as my mom would say it, I'm a "chicken boom boom". 

Yea I don't know. But I like it anyways.

What scares you most? Got any scary stores you'd like to share??

WHO CAN SCARE THE PC?

I can't save you.

So this blog was an outlet for me to post the Internet's finest. The things that I look at constantly.

I was perusing Thought Catalog recently and came across the article, "10 Bizarre Wikipedia Pages That Will Make You Quit The Internet Today"

And you can BET, I slowly closed my laptop and backed away after reading this article. Hands up in a white flag surrender.

Go ahead and read this one. I'll be here when you're done.




















Read it?

Ok. Let's chitter.

#1 ODB - Or Baby Jesus - OBVIOUSLY, if this no bullet proof vest law became a thing, he wasn't the only odd bird doing this. What's wrong with safety?

#2 ICP - Don't even...I have way more exposure to Juggalos (those are ICP fans, really...that's their name, and they're proud of that) than I would like to admit. For about five years, I worked at a certain mall music/clothing store and Juggalos were just...just so rampant. All the time. And about...85% of them were just so obnoxious about their fandom (fan-dom?). Shirts, wallets, hats, ANYTHING ICP SOLD LIKE HOT CAKES. But at least hot cakes are delicious, so I can understand the sales numbers. Anyways, I liked reading this little anecdote about performing to the wrong crowd. You silly geese!

#3 Formicophilia -  WTF. Bugs. Crawling on you. You like it. YOU like it? you LIKE it?! you like IT!? I'm dry heaving as I type this.

#4 Oculolinctus - Ok. Also gross. I am an extremely cautious person, and the thought that people are doing this and getting EYEBALL INFECTIONS. Hurlhurlbarfbarfpukevomit. Japanese teenagers, get your life right. You're better than this. This is along the lines of that weird donut forehead thing I saw on TV

#5 Chastity belt - So this is a thing? I thought it was old timey or only out of Robin Hood: Men in Tights

#6 Kentucky Meat Shower - WHY AREN'T BILLIONS OF DOLLARS BEING USED TO RESEARCH WHY THIS HAPPENED?!

#7 Autopsy - Eh.

#8 LANSA Flight 508  - This is a tragedy for sure. But this girl that survived needs to have her own TLC/Discovery Channel/ Nat Geo TV special. Because that's INSANE.

#9 Maternal Insult - Someone call Wilmer Valderrama!

#10 Stendhal Syndrome - Sometimes just the fact that there are names for things fascinates me. This is one of those time. Who knew there'd be an actual thing for thinking art is SO beautiful?

Tell me what you thought about this stuff!

What's the most number of sites you're surfed your way through accidentally?

Someday No One Will Even Notice

WHOA.

So I know I haven't done anything on here for awhile. And for that, a thousand apologies. But I also have a good internet gem today.

Now you may have heard about the Cheerios commercial that's, sadly, causing people to get all up in arms.  The commercial features a little girl asking her mom if Cheerios are good for the heart. Her mom tells her yes, then explains the benefits to the heart. The little girl then takes the box and walks away. Cut to the dad waking up from his nap on the couch with Cheerios all over his chest.

Super cute, right?

Then what's the fuss all about, you ask?

That little girl's mom is white and her dad is black.

Yup.

In the year 2013, this is causing people to spit out words of fire all over the internet. Most of them about the little girl herself!

So there was a video recently made by a team called The Fine Brothers, documenting the reaction to the commercial from kids varying in age (about ages 6 to 15). They show the video to the kids and say, "What'd you think?" then explain that people have been angry about the commercial. Which leads to their confusion...

 

This video warmed my heart. Racism and hatred is a taught mindset. No child is born hateful. I'm not sure everyone gets that.

Robocop and I are a mixed race couple. I happen to think our future mixed babies will be the cutest things to set foot on this planet! The thought that someone could think otherwise about them (names are tentatively Hello Kitty and Mega Man) makes me Hulk rage. I'm thrilled that they will experience two cultures (make that three, since they'll be raised here with both our cultures of heritage, obviously) and that they could potentially speak three languages (if we work hard at it). I feel that gives them a leg up. And then, where their times come, I'm going to love anyone who loves them as much as Robocop and I love each other.

Anyway. That ended on a super cheesy note so....

Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism!

I love TV.

Like...loooove TV.

One show I love to watch is MTV's new show "Girl Code".

One show I hate to watch is E!'s "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" I kan't stand it, but kan't knot watch it.

"Girl Code" is mainly female comedians (comediennes?) talking about the rules of being a girl. I use the term "rules" loosely. They cover topics such as the friend zone, controlling your alcohol intake, how to wear makeup, etc, etc. I love it. The views on all this stuff is hilarious and I recommend catching the show, even if you don't love rules as much as I do.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" is exactly that. Keeping up with their super interesting* lives.  Kim is probably the "star" of the show, since she's the most famous and publicized sister, but Khloe has my heart. I actually think she has a good head on her shoulders and isn't so stupid. Which is saying a lot.

BuzzFeed posted a list called 13 Girl Codes The Kardashians Do Their Best to Live By where we see these ol' Kardashian gals abiding by the rules of the Girl Code. The holy, sanctified Girl Code.

I like to think my life is a lot like those of the Kardashian ladies. Minus money, fame, power, success, a tv show, a clothing line, and a store in both Miami and LA. Maybe even NYC. There's just no keeping up with those darn Kardashians!

I'm just a girl trying to coast through life, so sometimes, these teensy guidelines don't suck!

Check out a full episode of Girl Code here:

I won't post a link to "KUWTK" (Ugh, what a long name.) because you can catch it on E!...all the time...every day...at any hour.

Anyways, I'm off tomorrow which means a day full of non-interwebz related adventures, so I'll leave you with this! Happy 4th of July, little bears!

 

 

 

*Not interesting