Was I a Bridezilla? N....o?

Like I have mentioned in my little ol' blogger profile, I am a newlywed. I spent the majority of 2012 and just about half of 2013, planning our [my?] dream wedding.

It was tiring to plan and expensive to pay for, but ultimately, we had the exact wedding that was both me and [little bit] Robocop. It was a huge party and we were surrounded by all of our favorite people celebrating us starting our new life together. What more could a girl ask for?

Now, prior to getting engaged, I had watched a lot of "wedding-centric" TV. You have "Say Yes to The Dress", "Four Weddings", "My Fair Wedding with Dave Tutera", and then of course...the one we love to hate, "Bridezillas". I'd gotten a good dose of what different kinds of brides one could wind up being.

I was completely surprised when Robocop proposed. I mean, we'd obviously talked about it, but never a "it's going to happen at or around this time", so when it actually happened, I was over the moon about it and super surprised! Right then and there, I vowed not to be one of those insane brides. The ones that yell and kick and scream? Those brides.

Overall, I think I did a good job. You'll have to ask my loved ones if you'd like to fact check me, though, I suppose. I think I'm very cool, so maybe my opinion is a little biased

Last week, BuzzFeed put out a list of the 39 Stages of Being a Bride which I found to be...creepily accurate.

Now...I will be the first to say...I went through..a LOT of these stages. Mainly due to the fact, and I'll just go ahead and be blunt with you, I'm a crybaby. So every so often...I couldn't help but shed a tear....or a gallon of them. But I think I made it through the wedding planning process...fairly unscathed.

And I think Robocop made it out intact and happy to marry me! Again..you'd really have to check with him on that.

I was a nice fiancee.

Dare you to fact check me.

Until next time!

I can't stop. I won't stop.

So I'd like to say I'm done talking about Miley Cyrus, but I'm not. Not at all.

Maybe I have an obsessive personality. Maybe I am too firm in how I believe people in the public eye should act. Maybe I don't have enough going on in my life to distract me from this BS.

Regardless of the reason, I just can't stop talking about Miley Cyrus. Namely what a clown I think she is. A real foolio johnson!

A couple days ago, I was watching the 9 o'clock hour of the Today Show (which I'm obsessed with, ask anyone, there's just a certain crush factor to Willie Geist *swoon*) and they mentioned that Sinead O'Connor wrote an open letter to Miley Cyrus after hearing that Miley compared her nudey "Wrecking Ball" video to O'Connors "Nothing Compares" video.

You tell me:

So anyhows. Sinead hears this. Writes Miley an open letter saying [basically] "Don't let the music industry pimp you out. You're way too talented for that."

Mily Cyrus, in all her typical classy glory, replies with the following:
http://www.hot995.com/articles/music-news-477339/sinead-oconnor-and-miley-cyrus-trade-11710540/

Oh good. Mocking someone's mental illness, that'll prove to everyone that you're no Hannah Montana! Someone, nonetheless, who commended your talent and basically recommended you not sell yourself [or your body] short!

This is why I have become obsessed with this monster. I don't wanna be! I want to be done talking about her! I want to not want to have to write this post! I want that sentence just now to make sense!

I hate to admit it, but I am someone who get really involved in celebrity scandals/drama/relationships. I invest my time and energy and emotions, just the way I know they would in me if they only took the time out to get to know me.

Miley Cyrus is proud of her behavior. Confusing flaunting your body in gross nude colored latex shorts with being sexy. Saying "This is just me, people!". How unfortunate. I hate sound like a broken record, and I could rant about this for DAYS, but good golly, get your act together, girrrrrrl!

Leave some thoughtful suggestions for Miley. Or write an open letter to anything that you feel needs addressing.

If I wasn't such a slacker, I'd write an open letter to the following things: Expensive hair products, people who don't park in designated parking spots, bossy people, and the poorly filtered air in my office building.

Until next time! I will try not to let so much time go by. Robocop is going on a fishing trip this weekend, so maybe I'll have extra time to write here.

It's very time consuming to listen to him yell obscenities while playing GTA V.

We ain't goin nowhere.

Cuz we baaaad boy for life.

I haven't posted in awhile but that's because I've been unexpectedly busy at work. But not so busy I haven't surfed the web at least a teensy bit!

I have a few ideas lined up for some posts, so just remain patient and keep your faith and trust invested in a girl you may not know.

Don't act like it'd be the first time. I see right through you.

DO NOT! I CAN'T!

Every so often...I hate the internet.

Yup. I hate it.

Don't get me wrong! About...97% of the time, I love it so much it makes my heart swell up until I feel like it's going to burst into a million glitters.

Then every so often, the internet comes up with a crazy idea to present something that PC won't like! WHY, INTERWEBS? 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/12-absolutely-terrifying-two-sentence-horror-stories

If you know me or anything about me...or anything about my dad, you'd know very well that I am so scared of everything. Growing up, I used to watch the news a lot and alien shows with my dad (Unsolved Mysteries, anyone?) and it just truly made me think that everyone ever was terrifying and bad and murdery.

I can't watch scary movies because I go through a string of emotions as follows: stress, because I'm so anxious and worried about becoming really scared; fear, because eventually I do get genuinely scared; anger, that I let myself get so scared and thought of something stupid like watching a scary movie. Rinse and repeat and that's my scary movie-going experience. Sometimes I'm curious  about scary movies and wish I could know what happens, so what do I do? I do what anyone who's too scared but also Internet savvy would do! I Wiki those bias. Yep. I read the entire plot synopsis and call it a day. Somehow it loses all the scary!

So I thought these two liners would be fine. BUT THEY WERE NOT FINE! I got genuinely scared! 

I'm a wuss. Or as my mom would say it, I'm a "chicken boom boom". 

Yea I don't know. But I like it anyways.

What scares you most? Got any scary stores you'd like to share??

WHO CAN SCARE THE PC?

I can't save you.

So this blog was an outlet for me to post the Internet's finest. The things that I look at constantly.

I was perusing Thought Catalog recently and came across the article, "10 Bizarre Wikipedia Pages That Will Make You Quit The Internet Today"

And you can BET, I slowly closed my laptop and backed away after reading this article. Hands up in a white flag surrender.

Go ahead and read this one. I'll be here when you're done.




















Read it?

Ok. Let's chitter.

#1 ODB - Or Baby Jesus - OBVIOUSLY, if this no bullet proof vest law became a thing, he wasn't the only odd bird doing this. What's wrong with safety?

#2 ICP - Don't even...I have way more exposure to Juggalos (those are ICP fans, really...that's their name, and they're proud of that) than I would like to admit. For about five years, I worked at a certain mall music/clothing store and Juggalos were just...just so rampant. All the time. And about...85% of them were just so obnoxious about their fandom (fan-dom?). Shirts, wallets, hats, ANYTHING ICP SOLD LIKE HOT CAKES. But at least hot cakes are delicious, so I can understand the sales numbers. Anyways, I liked reading this little anecdote about performing to the wrong crowd. You silly geese!

#3 Formicophilia -  WTF. Bugs. Crawling on you. You like it. YOU like it? you LIKE it?! you like IT!? I'm dry heaving as I type this.

#4 Oculolinctus - Ok. Also gross. I am an extremely cautious person, and the thought that people are doing this and getting EYEBALL INFECTIONS. Hurlhurlbarfbarfpukevomit. Japanese teenagers, get your life right. You're better than this. This is along the lines of that weird donut forehead thing I saw on TV

#5 Chastity belt - So this is a thing? I thought it was old timey or only out of Robin Hood: Men in Tights

#6 Kentucky Meat Shower - WHY AREN'T BILLIONS OF DOLLARS BEING USED TO RESEARCH WHY THIS HAPPENED?!

#7 Autopsy - Eh.

#8 LANSA Flight 508  - This is a tragedy for sure. But this girl that survived needs to have her own TLC/Discovery Channel/ Nat Geo TV special. Because that's INSANE.

#9 Maternal Insult - Someone call Wilmer Valderrama!

#10 Stendhal Syndrome - Sometimes just the fact that there are names for things fascinates me. This is one of those time. Who knew there'd be an actual thing for thinking art is SO beautiful?

Tell me what you thought about this stuff!

What's the most number of sites you're surfed your way through accidentally?

Someday No One Will Even Notice

WHOA.

So I know I haven't done anything on here for awhile. And for that, a thousand apologies. But I also have a good internet gem today.

Now you may have heard about the Cheerios commercial that's, sadly, causing people to get all up in arms.  The commercial features a little girl asking her mom if Cheerios are good for the heart. Her mom tells her yes, then explains the benefits to the heart. The little girl then takes the box and walks away. Cut to the dad waking up from his nap on the couch with Cheerios all over his chest.

Super cute, right?

Then what's the fuss all about, you ask?

That little girl's mom is white and her dad is black.

Yup.

In the year 2013, this is causing people to spit out words of fire all over the internet. Most of them about the little girl herself!

So there was a video recently made by a team called The Fine Brothers, documenting the reaction to the commercial from kids varying in age (about ages 6 to 15). They show the video to the kids and say, "What'd you think?" then explain that people have been angry about the commercial. Which leads to their confusion...

 

This video warmed my heart. Racism and hatred is a taught mindset. No child is born hateful. I'm not sure everyone gets that.

Robocop and I are a mixed race couple. I happen to think our future mixed babies will be the cutest things to set foot on this planet! The thought that someone could think otherwise about them (names are tentatively Hello Kitty and Mega Man) makes me Hulk rage. I'm thrilled that they will experience two cultures (make that three, since they'll be raised here with both our cultures of heritage, obviously) and that they could potentially speak three languages (if we work hard at it). I feel that gives them a leg up. And then, where their times come, I'm going to love anyone who loves them as much as Robocop and I love each other.

Anyway. That ended on a super cheesy note so....

Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism!

I love TV.

Like...loooove TV.

One show I love to watch is MTV's new show "Girl Code".

One show I hate to watch is E!'s "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" I kan't stand it, but kan't knot watch it.

"Girl Code" is mainly female comedians (comediennes?) talking about the rules of being a girl. I use the term "rules" loosely. They cover topics such as the friend zone, controlling your alcohol intake, how to wear makeup, etc, etc. I love it. The views on all this stuff is hilarious and I recommend catching the show, even if you don't love rules as much as I do.

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" is exactly that. Keeping up with their super interesting* lives.  Kim is probably the "star" of the show, since she's the most famous and publicized sister, but Khloe has my heart. I actually think she has a good head on her shoulders and isn't so stupid. Which is saying a lot.

BuzzFeed posted a list called 13 Girl Codes The Kardashians Do Their Best to Live By where we see these ol' Kardashian gals abiding by the rules of the Girl Code. The holy, sanctified Girl Code.

I like to think my life is a lot like those of the Kardashian ladies. Minus money, fame, power, success, a tv show, a clothing line, and a store in both Miami and LA. Maybe even NYC. There's just no keeping up with those darn Kardashians!

I'm just a girl trying to coast through life, so sometimes, these teensy guidelines don't suck!

Check out a full episode of Girl Code here:

I won't post a link to "KUWTK" (Ugh, what a long name.) because you can catch it on E!...all the time...every day...at any hour.

Anyways, I'm off tomorrow which means a day full of non-interwebz related adventures, so I'll leave you with this! Happy 4th of July, little bears!

 

 

 

*Not interesting

What's more ridiculous than children?

Nothing.

They are Masters of the Ridiculous.

I was never around kids much growing up, but Robocop had one niece when we started dating and now that's up to three nieces and then a baby nephew and baby niece now in my family. So kids are something I'm getting much more comfortable with as days go by.

But there's one thing about kids that's both amazing and sometimes terrifying. Their lack of ability to lie, or at least keep their tiny mouths closed about something that anyone with manners would politely ignore.

Robocop's tiniest niece once tried to color a zit on my chin with a purple marker. Once I stopped her from that, she just stared at it for a full hour. YEA YEA YEA. THIS IS YOU ONE DAY.

Anyways. Like I mentioned last week, BuzzFeed is a phenomenal way to waste time. It's like a rabbit hole of all things amazing. Similar to Amazon, they constantly have "If you liked this, then you'll love THIS!" at the bottom of everything they post. Maybe I'm not mysterious enough, but they're usually right.

Today was 26 Kids Who Are Definitely Going Places

This shows the many facets of children's personality traits. The Creep. The Low Aiming Dreamer. The Laugh Riot.

It's just about everything I look for in a list relating to children! Suddenly, I'm the deep belly laugher at their desk who keeps clearing their throat in hopes of killing the case of the giggles I've instantly developed.

I quickly scrolled through (to see if this was worth my VERY valuable and short time) and found a gem like this:

I never want to NOT be reading this list!

Make sure you're in a spot where releasing a loud snort is acceptable, because this one is too good to be true.

What? Wait....WHAT!!

So no updates over the weekend, because I really just don't get around to Internetting over the weekend. I suppose that's good though. Just don't tell the World Wide Wow that I'm just too busy for it sometimes. It's so sensitive.

I worked out. I partied hardy. And then I slept. A lot. It was glorious. A weekend fit for a king! I even bought Oreos because I think I'm a special girl.

Anyways. Log into work today and the first thing I get is from fellow employee, B-Hurlz.

And it's this. THIS!!!

http://imgur.com/gallery/RQsa7I8

 

What's that, PC? Is that...a....flying...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S A FLYING SNAKE.

Happy Monday, ladies and gentlemen!

The most unnecessary of God's creations ever!!!!! Snakes are terrible in general, let's just be open and honest with one another about that. The idea of stepping on one? Terrible. But the idea of one flying straight towards you and possibly getting tangled in your hair?! (#curlyhairedproblems) That's the thing of nightmares.

The only thing I could imagine to be worse is a flesh eating puppy. "Hey there, little guy! Snuggle, snuggle! CHOMP!" Nope.

If you could engineer the scariest creature on the planet, what would it be?

My eyes are leaking.

So one of the main sites I peruse daily, if not hourly, is BuzzFeed . It's got a ton of lists, videos, and articles with a variety of "themes", such as "OMG", "WTF", "LOL", and my personal favorite? "Cute"

They recently posted this video of a retiring school principal being surprised by his students on his last day of school:

I made the awful mistake of watching this at my desk. "This is great! Why would it be awful to watch at work?!" you're probably asking.

It's because I am a cry machine. I cry...for everything. I'm pretty sure I had tears reading the title. Typical me.

This video really tugged at my heart strings, because you hear so many stories of just jerky kids who don't care about anyone but themselves or their iPhones, let alone their teachers and school administration. But these were kids who cared about Roger Boddie, their principal. A man who obviously made an impression on them that they'll hopefully hold onto for a long time.

I can't really recall a teacher or school principal who has done that for me. I like to think I was always pretty respectful of authority growing up, and even so now. (Ask anyone. I love rules and hate breaking them/watching other people break them. They're there for a reason! To either keep you alive, safe, or out of jail!) But I don't think I have anyone I'd look back on and say, "I would totally organize a flash mob for that person".

Maybe for Robocop. He deserves a good flashmob.

How about you? Any teacher or faculty member ever make you want to rally 100 of your closest friends and choreograph a dance to say thanks?

If your story makes me cry, you get absolutely nothing. A light breeze makes me cry. Because nature is just so gosh dang beautiful :'-(

Roll Call!

So yesterday I promised to let you in on the little secret of "Who is PC?"

PC is Personal Creativity.
PC is Predatory Circus. (Yeesh.)
PC is Pig Cellphone.

But most importantly, PC is me. Your friendly neighborhood 27 year old "professional" and newlywed living right outside our nation's capital. And also living outside of her parents' home for the first time EVER. This calls for misadventures and surely some calamity.

I haven't traveled to far off exotic lands. I definitely can't take great photos. And I most certainly can NOT give mommy tips and tricks.

But you know what? I look good (dare I say, really good?) in about 98% of colors I wear. I have a great appreciation for good story-telling and funny one liners. Oh. And this is what my computer dock at work looks like:

As I explained in my first post, I created this as a spot to share things I'd share with you if we were sitting on G-Chat between the hours of 9am and 5pm on any given week day. So when I see something interesting, hilarious, or heart-felt, this will be my first stop. Talk to ya never, real life friends! Read my blog! Tell your friends!

Let's start off by introducing the "cast". For now, I'll introduce you to the people I will be talking about or referencing the most. When more people are introduced, I'll add clever nicknames for them too. This is to prevent you from finding them and, in turn, stealing their identities. I watch TV. I know what happens.

Robocop: My husband and partner in crime. We've been married for...three weeks today, but have been together four years. We only lived together for one week before our wedding, so this has led to a lot of hilarious scenarios. Like him finding hair in his sink and me being horrifically offended by the accusation of it being mine. Did I mention he's completely bald?

Benson: My babiest of brothers and also one of the best friends I've ever had. We have the same sense of humor and find annoyance in all the same things. Pretty sure that's all you need. He's taking off on a new adventure across the country in the upcoming weeks, so he will no longer be coming over for dinner a few times a week, nor will he be cursing at our embarrassingly large TV when he's losing at FIFA '13. Bummer.

BoBo: My dad. The man is hilarious and borderline paranoid about something happening to any of his children. Super sweet. But also has made me terrified OF EVERYTHING.

Loren: My mom. Being hit with a severe case of empty nest syndrome all at once. She's the cutest person on earth.

Zangief: My big brother. Smartest person I know. Yet can't quite get shoe tying down. It's tough, but the little guy will get it one day! A huge source of a lot of ridiculous Internet GIF's I receive daily.

So those are the mainstays. Like I said, others will pop up but that's all for now. It's about 1:50pm on a Friday. So, naturally, I stopped working 2 hours ago. Stay tuned for an entry with Internet goodies!

Here I am!....I'M HEEEERE!

Recently, while chomping down on Mexican food with my husband, brother, and one of husband's best friends, I vocalized my frustrations with not having enough social media outlets to share all the ridiculous smiling dog pictures and kids falling off trampoline GIF's. Sure, I can send them to my friends on G-Chat...and to my friends on our inter-office IM...and maybe I'll post a video here and there on Facebook....but it's not enough!

What it boils down to, is if you're the girl who posts 50 videos a day (like I really want to), then you're now the girl getting blocked off news feeds while people wonder how you weren't fired from your job already. Or if you even HAVE a job.

So my brother, Benson, suggested "Why not make a blog where you can put all this stuff?" He's always full of phenomenal/outlandish ideas, but this one was the former. "Collect all the stuff you wanna send out and just keep it in one acceptable spot." So here it is! The ACCEPTABLE SPOT!

I'll post things like:

(!!!!!)

And:

(NOPE.)

And as bonuses?? Things like this:

Coworker 11:50 AM

Knock Knock 

Me 11:50 AM

WHO'S THURR

Coworker 11:50 AM

Orange 

Me 11:50 AM

hmm...nope.

 

Don't come at me with knock, knock jokes, son.

 

This blog will be a mixing bowl for videos, pictures, "top" lists, and articles. Some funny (I love to laugh). Some serious (I love to think). And some will be posted with the sole purpose of making you crack that stoney heart of yours and shed some of those long-time, held back tears.

 

You'll feel better afterwards. I promise.

Then, because I love feelings and especially talking about them (probably the thing my husband, Robocop, loves most about me), I'll discuss thoughts and feelings on what I post. I promise it'll be more substantial than five exclamation points following a picture, although that's actually exactly how I feel in my bones.

 

Next time: I'll introduce myself a little more and let you in on what makes PC...PC. I mean, besides my birth name.